HOUSE OF ROBERTS BLOG

Any of you have a child who has a will like Rocky Balboa had when he fought Apollo Creed on them? Not sure if you do, but let me give you some signs of a strong-willed child. They will be the ones who will sit at the dinner table until 8:00 pm because they won’t eat the dinner you made but they can’t leave until they do. They are the one who lives by the code, everything is a negotiation. They are persistent, that is if they want something they won’t let it go until they get it. They will probably be the child where you have thought and maybe even said the words, “Man, nothing is ever easy with them…” I have a few of those myself, and the reason why I am writing about this today is because a lot of times these types of children have a lot of interactions with “discipline daddy.” 

I’d like to say that I have navigated the raising of these types of children very well but honestly, I have failed horribly at times. But I came across this verse in my daily reading that stood out to me, it is found in Colossians 3:21 and it says, “Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.” It echoes another verse in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

I am finding that with strong-willed children, there is a way of parenting that is Godly and helpful to their development, but there is also a way of parenting that will frustrate them, make them angry, and even discourage them. So a great temperature check on how my parenting is going is if I see my child getting angry or discouraged rather quickly (and they normally don’t) then there is a chance that my parenting is playing a part in that.  

If you can relate to any of this, let me give you some thoughts that will help better parent them.

1. Pray for them. Prayer is such an important part of raising kids, especially when they have a strong will. The thing about prayer is it does so much for the person praying. When you consistently pray for someone, you get God’s perspective on them, which you desperately need when you are a parent. You can’t just see who your child is now based on how they are behaving in a season, you have to see them as God sees them. You have to see them with their gifts, talents, abilities, and the possibility of who they will become and what they can do with their life. As Ephesians 6:4 says, we have to bring our children up with discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord, and to get that you need to be consistently reading your Bible and praying. You are going to need some unique strategies to parent that child throughout their life and you will need grace to do it, so pray and you will get it! 

2. Change your perspective on them and their behavior. Let me tell you how God sees that strong-willed child of yours. When He sees your son or daughter, He says to Himself, “Man, they are going to accomplish so much with their life!” “There will be very little that they won’t be able to accomplish if they set their mind to it.” “That is a special young man and young woman that I created there.” I bet you struggle to see that right now, and I get it. No condemnation here, you have been in the trenches with this one and they are making you work for it. With that said, your child is special. That will is God-given and if pointed in the right direction, they will accomplish so much with their life. That child isn’t a problem, they aren'’t bad, they are just a frustrated leader. In other words, God made them to be a leader but they just don’t know how to channel it and use it for good. So when you have to correct them, obviously address the bad behavior but please make sure that you speak to who they are as well. Speak words like, “You are a leader.” “How God made you is good.” “You are going to accomplish a lot for the Kingdom of God.” Dad, your words have life and death in them, so once you see what God sees with your child, speak it over them.

I’ve got a few more thoughts on this subject, but I will stop here and give you more next week. You got this Dad!