HOUSE OF ROBERTS BLOG

One of the things that I have had to work on as a husband is not going about life as a solo act. As a husband and a father, I feel the weight of providing for my family and that is not a bad thing. God has given us that great responsibility and so we should feel that Godly burden. With that said, many times I respond to that pressure by taking it all on myself and just trying to make things happen. When that is my posture, I find that I struggle with more stress, I am short with my wife and kids, and normally I don’t execute anything very well. Does anyone else struggle with this?

As I said, it is good that I feel the weight of leading my family, but I must remind myself that God gave me a helpmate, my wife. That’s actually what God called wives in Genesis 2:18. That word helpmate, in Hebrew, actually means to supply that which is lacking. That means when God created you, He gave you talents, abilities, and passions but He also didn’t make you so that you didn’t need anyone. That is why He sent you your wife. She is not better than you, she is not worse than you, she is different. Created with her own talents, abilities, and passions and she is meant to come alongside you so that you both can work together as a team to accomplish what God has put in your hands. 

To not bring your wife into how you handle life handicaps you and your ability to do everything that God has given you. Life is a team sport, and you have the best teammate in your wife, so I think it is time we all started to get better at being a team in our own homes. Here are a few thoughts for you as you endeavor to work together with your wife:

Your wife has a lot of wisdom. There is a reason why in scriptures, when it speaks of wisdom, it gives it the pronoun “her”. Your wife is smart, most likely she is also a discerner, and she has valuable input into the decisions you need to make. 

Your wife can handle it. I know that wives are generally weaker when it comes to physical strength but sometimes I don’t bring my wife into something hard that I am working through because I think that she cannot take it. But that’s not true, she has the same spirit that raised Christ Jesus from the dead, and so she can handle it. You can depend on your wife.

Choose to cherish her. Many times, we want to try to change our wives because they are not like us. This means that they have different perspectives and thoughts, and that can be frustrating for us husbands. Why? Well if we are honest, it is probably because we don’t want their input, we just want our wives to agree with us. But is that what you really want? Do you want to be right or do you want to get it right? You want to get it right, which means that you need different perspectives and types of people to add input to make a good decision. That’s why you shouldn’t want anything less than for your wife to become the best version of who God made her to be. So choose to cherish her differences and don’t try to change them.

Keep yourself humble. I said it once, but I’m going to say it again. In any decision that you have to make as a parent, the goal is not to be right but to get it right. So as you and your wife work together, lean into humility. Be willing to hear her side, be humble to admit you are wrong or that her way is better. Don’t forget you are working together, not competing against one another.

Dad, you are not meant to go about life alone, God sent you your wife, and she is a valuable teammate. Finish this year being more intentional about working together.